Me,My Life & I

My stupid alopecia is getting back to the state it was in when it was at its worst,and I don't know what to do.I have always felt there is a purpose to this whole shitty debacle,and that it will all eventually be ok.But currently I'm really struggling to see it.I'm just so scared that it's gonna just keep getting worse,because before it's always stopped coming out just before it got too much to hide,but now it's just getting worse and worse.I don't know what to do.I'm scared of how angry its making me.There's not a night over the past week I've not cried myself to sleep over it.And whats worse is I still have to put on this fucking fake 'I'm Ok' face for everyone around me.Nobody understands it and I just feel that if I make anything of it,people will think that I'm being overdramatic because they just don't understand how hard it actually is.Its not fair,I should be enjoying these young years of my life and I feel like its just forced me to grow up more quickly because it's put the kind of constant stress on me that you don't associate with your teenage years,or at least I don't think you're supposed to.I feel so cheated because I feel that I've tried my hardest to do good,and yet I'm stuck with this shit day in day out.That makes me sound selfish,but it's only the same as everyone thinks when bad happens to them.I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel any more,and that scares me because until now I always could.I just wish it would go away and I could have my hair back and do everything with it that everyone else can.Get it cut in a nice hairdressers,style it,straighten it without burning the back of my balding head/upper neck from the heat on my hair,go out in the wind and rain without worrying about it.Go out and actually feel confident about my appearance instead of feeling secretly ugly compared to everyone around me.Get to sleep at night without crying over having to deal with it all again the next day.
I fucking hate this.With everything I am I hate it.Why has this happened and why does it continue to happen?What is the purpose in this?Importantly,where is God in all this?Why can't he show me what to do with it?
I just wish it would stop.

OK.So the BNP.I feel a little uninformed,but here's what I do know:

They are a rather openly racist party [in the thread of only white people are British I do believe?]
Whilst they do try to deny this nowadays by claiming that they do have Jewish members,holocaust deniers are rife amongst the party. [the belief that the extermination of 6 million Jewish people is a myth is one which their current leader is quoted as holding (or at least having held,even if he currently claims to have changed his views)]
They favour the idea that the government should get to decide who is British and then boot anyone who is not deemed to be so out of the country.
They are in favour of a protectionist economy [so free trade isn't a good thing then?]
They are against interracial marriage [again with the racism]
'British Jobs for British Workers' [lets increase unemployment then shall we,if only those who the BNP deem British were to be working,we'd have a drastically smaller workforce]
Has its origins in the neo-nazi organisation the National Front [anti black violence in the 70's anyone?]

You get the idea.

Now then,my question is,why have the British people voted for them in the European Elections?
It worries me very much that the British people to some extent feel their views represented in a party so evidently racist.One of the things I love about this country is the fact that we are made up of people with cultures and beliefs from all over the world.We are extremely diverse as a nation and I had thought us to be quite accepting of other people and cultures.The fact that people feel represented by this party shocks me as it seems to me to be a step backwards to less acceptance and surely acceptance and the gaining of knowledge about other cultures is something we as a country should be striving for if we are not to be ignorant as a nation?

I feel that the rise in support for the BNP is due primarily to two things: Firstly the current economic climate and secondly the apathy of voters.

It can be seen thoughout history that when a country faces economic hardship the peoples' support for parties outwith those in power/those most popular grows.This is most likely due to the feeling that those in power are either causing the problems or doing nothing to improve things.It just worries me that our support seems to be going to a party with views that will take us backwards if ever they came to have a fuller effect on us.How would that solve any problems we're currently facing?

Secondly I feel people are drastically uninformed about different parties and their policies.I'm not of age to vote but I think there should be more education about politics in school so that when we do turn 18 we are well informed and able to make a wise and fair choice.People aren't being provided with enough information and can't be bothered to find out,so perhaps a percentage of the votes the BNP recieved were out of pure apathy.People had seen their apparently appealing propoganda and thought they looked alright.

Maybe a third reason is the fact that some people want to see a return to more traditional values in Britain.By all means then,vote conservatively.Don't vote for a party who hold extremely backwards views in an attempt to oppose change.

I am in favour of the democracy that has brought the BNP their new seats,but I do not understand how anyone in their right mind could see them as representative of their views.I can only hope that the general election,when it comes,will flatten them.

Apologies if I come across as just another uninformed teenager,but I believe the information I have included in this post to be true in terms of BNP policy etc.The rest is personal opinion.

Your thoughts

Until Next Time

Hey everyone,hope you're all well.Sorry this is so late,I've had exams and other stuff going on this week.May has been a hectic month and now it's over things feel immediately better in some areas but drastically worse in others.I'll explain...

Jamie's Birthday

This started the month off nice and cheerily.A party always does that.There was a massive box of gifts,lots of chinese food and people jumping out with silly string involved.GOOD TIMES.

Exams

Yep,it was this time of year again,pretty shitty for everyone involved.Overall things went pretty average I'd say.I'm hoping for mainly B's,except maths which is either a fail or a C (but that's all I was going for anyway).I need an A and 3 B's for Uni though so....Anyway.I found myself pretty motivated at the start of the month,but then after maths on the 21st I had until the 2nd June before I had another exam,and the motivation just went.Then my last exam was on the 3rd and on the night of the 2nd I was up till 5.30am with a migraine,throwing up.So not much revision got done for that.Overall,I think I've done ok.Or at least I'm hoping so.

Hoors

I went to see Gregory Burke's new play at the Traverse this month.Got to say,I wasn't impressed.Black Watch was so much better.

Hair

Ok so I have now come to believe that this hair shit is directly related to stress levels,because over the past month I've basically gone back to square bloody one again around the back of my head.Pisses me off because I've waited 2 and 1/2 years for all that to come back in,for it to fall out again.When is this going to fucking end?

Film and Television

Seen quite a few in the cinema this month:

Hannah Montana:The Movie - Not worth seeing.At least in my eyes.

Coraline - Very,very good.The use of 3D is particularly fantastic.A really magical film.

Tormented - Very good fun.A good teen movie,not to be taken seriously.

Angels and Demons - Alright.Better than the Da Vinci code I'd say.

Obsessed - Very enjoyable.Probably not to be taken too seriously,but it's good fun to watch and the female leads are rather good.

I've also seen a few on dvd/tv:

The Silence of the Lambs - Breathtakingly good.I was shocked I hadn't watched it before I did.

Burn After Reading - Weird.But I like it.Great cast and hilariously funny.

Dan In Real Life - A very nice film.Steve Carrell is fantastic,as always.

Australia - Looks nice,but goes on far too long.

The Boy In The Striped Pyjamas - A really,really saddening movie.It just breaks your heart.Everyone should see this as it really does open your eyes to the reality of what Hitler and his Nazis done.

Now for television:

Dollhouse - It's started airing over here now and so I've been watching it.I'm still only on episode two but it looks set to be pretty good.Not as quick paced a start as his other shows,but I've heard that Whedon really pulls it out of the bag in the second half of the season,so I'm holding out till then.

Louis Theroux:A Place for Paedophiles - I'd commented last month asking if anyone had watched this.I caught it on iplayer the second time around and it was pretty shocking.For the majority it did not seem they were aware of what was wrong about their actions.I have always said that paedophiles once imprisoned should stay there and this did not change my opinion.My reasoning for this is the only way to monitor if the rehab programme is effective is to release these men into situations where they could offend again,and I don't think that that is a reasonable risk to be taking.Definately worth a watch.

Lost - So it's all over for another year and I must say this years finale was mind blowing.Utterly.They pulled out all the stops and season six looks set to be fantastic.Josh Holloway and Elizabeth Mitchell had better get some kind of recognition for that scene near the end.I was in floods of tears.Lots of answers,and in typical Lost fashion,lots of new questions.I can't wait till next year now!Just think,this time next year I'll probably still be crying because it'll all be over.Ah well,all good things have got to come to an end,and I feel this is going to be ended at a good time.

And now for the bad stuff....

My family and I have this idea,we're cursed with bad luck.We call it 'The Lackie Luck'. I don't mean for particularly big things - it's always little situations that you would never think possible to happen,they always occur to or around us.ESPECIALLY WHEN ON HOLIDAY!However,this Lackie Luck thing took a new turn this month as ALL OF OUR HOUSEHOLD APPLIANCES STARTED TO BREAK DOWN! The oven is broken,the washing machine is broken,the boiler is broken and now the electricity might be breaking down too!We are facing going without hot water for 5-7 weeks because of some situation with the electrics linked to the boiler.It's actually making me laugh because you'd never believe it all unless it happened to you.It does make you thankful for what you have though I suppose.

Quotability

Sheldon [The Big Bang Theory] - I am given to believe that there is an etire city in Nevad designed specifically to help people like Howard forget their problems.It will replace them with new problems such as alcoholism,gambling addiction and sexually transmitted diseases.

Kuthrapali [The Big Bang Theory] - What do you say Howard?
Howard - I say...VEGAS BABY!
Kuthrapali - What are you going to tell you mother?
Howard - Seaworld baby!

Kirsty - Chips:70p.Big Mac:£2.Irn Bru:£1.The look on Laura's face as she throws food in the air and goes down like a bitch: Priceless.

Gina - That's so cute.You can't even see the kids.
Megan - That's because they're at the toilet.

Michael Buckley - And on my report card my teacher wrote 'Michael really perked up classroom activities.'I think she was just trying to say your son is a flaming homosexual.Get thee to a nunnery.No more madonna videos.

Overall

Overall I'm glad May is over.June should be a bit more chilled out.Wish me luck with all the failures of household appliances.If anything,it should make June interesting

Until Next Time

Hey all.Well today has got to have been one of my favourite days this year so far.Woke up,freaked out with my friend about the looming history exam - a process that actually calms me down (the freaking out I mean),sunbathed with good music,had a family BBQ and then headed to the beach for a walk with my friends.All in all,a really enjoyable day.I'm gonna pay for my lack of revision come Tuesday,but hey,what's new?Anyway,on to the real topic of this post:the trailer for Johnny Depp's summer film - Public Enemies...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-uclFxBFbAQ

Oh.My.God.
Does it not just look fantastic?The above link is the trailer I viewed in the cinema,prior to watching Angels and Demons a week ago,and I've not been able to get it out of my head since.
I should tell you,I am completely and utterly in love with Johnny Depp's acting abilities.Everything he has done,I have loved,without fail.He performs with great passion,is humble and lets face it just oozes sex appeal,even as he gets a bit older.
He's looking a bit older in this trailer,but oh lordy he's still as gorgeous.

But anyway,enough of the drooling.

The trailer is very,very successful in my eyes.It's the combination of slow mo and music that does it.And of course the prospect of a very intense,exciting film.It just looks like a fantastic,intense,exciting story.

Other than the overdramatic kind of tone that the trailer has,I'm not entirely sure what makes it so appealing to me.I love a story of a bad guy I suppose - I'm not sure what that says about me?In everything I watch,the tough,bad boy is always the most appealing to me - Spike in Buffy and Jayne in Firefly being the most obvious examples of this.I like the idea of the public liking this man,finding him to be a people's hero and going against the government who desire to hunt him down.Again,not sure what that says - I'm certainly not in favour of crime,but I do tend to favour the individual against the establishment I suppose.

It just looks great and is now my most anticipated release for the summer.

Your thoughts?

Oh,and does anybody know what rating it's been given for UK release?

Until Next Time

Hey all,here I am with my second review of the night,as promised.This time the film up for discussion is the thriller 'Obsessed'.Enjoy

Right,if you're looking for a deep psychological thriller,this isn't it.Good fun though,it is.
I found Ali Larter's character to be quite laughable,and I'm kind of thinking that was the intention as I don't think this is meant to be particularly scary as such.She was just so deluded,you couldn't take her seriously.She was a bit creepy,especially the thing with the kid,but overall,she was just plain mad,and her mad girl actions made me laugh at times.

Beyonce was pretty good in it,angry woman being her strong point here.I think that her and Larter played well off of each other,and that they were both as good as each other at portraying their respective roles. Had the roles been switched however, I don't think it would have worked at all,so perhaps that says something for the actresses.The guy playing Derek was forgettable in my opinion.

The story is a bit chilling,although nothing particularly original.Definately not something to see with the expectations of deep and psycological.However,if you go in with the right expectations this is an enjoyable film.The climax of it is good to watch,you're really rooting for Beyonce by the end of it all.

Overall,whilst it was nothing special in terms of the thriller genre,I think on its own it is a very enjoyable film and one worth seeing.Very well acted by Ali Larter and Beyonce and with numerous creepy and laugh out loud moments,its worth a watch.

Overall 7/10

Until Next Time

I was doing health and safety training at work today,and one of the pointers was:

'Be careful whilst using ladders.Floors are hard and they hurt'

Thoughts on this?

Until Next Time

Hey all,hope you're all enjoying the sunny sunny weather we've been having (that is if you live here I suppose.) Seen a couple of things this week,the first being Angels and Demons,and then last night, Obsessed.Both were good,the latter more so,and here I offer up my review of Angels and Demons...

Lets start with the obvious question - is it better than The Da Vinci Code?
Personally I think so. Only for one reason though - it seems to be a bit more exiting and a little less difficult to get your head around (I'd already read the books before seeing either, so I had my head around the stories, but I'm assuming that from an outsider kind of perspective a 'we've got to stop the bomb!' type story is easier to take in quickly than a complicated plot about the potential descendents of Christ?) So primarily, I think it is better as a film. I also,coincidently,enjoyed this book better than the book that the first film is based on.

Tom Hanks, still don't really like him as an actor. He's not bad,I just personally don't like his performance much.Ewan McGregor - I've seen him do much better,but he fleshed the whole thing out a bit,much like Ian McKellen does in Da Vinci. Overall though it wasn't horribly acted,it just wasn't great.Although Ayelet Zurer does come up to the admirable standards of Audrey Tautou in The Da Vinci Code.

Now,I had a pounding headache whilst in the cinema watching this - not one caused by the film mind you,but one that the music,lighting and sound effects didn't really help. However,I still did enjoy it.It's not really anything particularly special,but it is interesting.The twist plays very well and McGregor really shone in that respect.

Overall though I think,when it comes down to it,that Dan Brown's book are unfilmable.There is too much information held in them to translate effectively to the screen and create anything other than a medium paced crime-thriller.I think the pacing is something that really pulls this film down,and it's caused by the sheer amount of history and 'facts' that they've tried to cram in.Another thing,why are the Catholic church so angry about it?It perhaps sheds a light on them that makes them look devious and shady,but I would think that there are many more films out there more blasphemous than this one.It talks about the importance of faith to people,how it helps people.I as a Christian take no offence at this film,and I really don't see why the outrage is neccessary.

To conclude,I'd say 6.5/10.

Until Next Time

Hey all.You may or may not know that there's been a lot of buzz on the internet the past couple of days surrounding the issue of a Buffy movie....without Joss Whedon's involvment.Now I'm kind of torn on this issue so I'm just gonna throw my thoughts out there as they come.

Upon first hearing about this my initial reaction,as it was with most Whedon fans,was NO. Whedon created this character,got screwed over in the first film and then brought her back to life and created a successful and very enjoyable television series out of her. The show was fantastic,but ended in a good place I feel as the major metaphors it had going on had run dry,the growing up was over and therefore the show needed to come to a close.Angel on the other hand,could've gone on longer,and don't get me started on Firefly,but hey,that's two seperate stories.So yeah,we left Buffy in a good place.The thought that anyone,even Joss,could try and pick up this franchise in the medium of film again seems stupid to me a mere money making scheme that,whilst perhaps some of the avid fans on the side of MORE MORE MORE BUFFY would see,the general public would probably just discard as being as much a waste of time as the original movie is.

Then,as this stupid suggestion sunk in I came to understand that Fran Rubel Kuzui and husband Kaz Kuzui (the guy that directed the original film) were involved. This basically sealed the deal on my not wanting it to happen. If it was Tim Minear or Drew Goddard taking the character in a new direction,with the approval of Joss,perhaps I'd be more open,but these two?Its basically condemning it to fail before it's even began.Just a truly horrific decision.If it really is to happen and there is to be anyone from the previous Buffy staff involved that is NOT Joss Whedon,then it should obviously be Minear or Goddard and not the guy who caused the orginal to be such a disaster.

Thirdly,why does this iconic character even need to be rebooted?Surely the kids/teens of today (yes I know I am one,but I was a first generation buffy fan,if that makes sense) can relate to it? I mean the whole idea of the show was that the metaphors in it were utterly relatable to ANY teen.There was a character in it that everyone could identify with and the stories are,in my eyes,as relevent to anyone growing up now as they were to me.My suspiscion is that the younger people today are so used to everything being a 'new and improved remake' that they expect that's the way things ought to be,that the new versions are always better than the original.Really,we're an A.D.D society if people can't relate to something that ended only six years ago.Human nature is human nature after all,nothing really changes,so why does a show that explores human nature require a make over in the form of this stupidly proposed film?

Basically this film without the involvment of Joss Whedon would be,in my fangirl eyes,blasphemous.Buffy is his creation,if he doesn't want to return to it why should he?He's working on other just as exciting things,there's no reason why he should still be living with characters he brought to closure six years ago.The involvement of the Kuzui's is ridiculous.If people can't relate to this show as it currently is,they wouldn't be able to relate to a true reincarnation of the character.

My verdict:doomed to be a train wreck if it ever goes ahead.

Your thoughts?

Until Next Time

Hey all.Well last week I went to see Gregory Burke's,the playwright responsible for the fantastic Black Watch,latest play.Titled 'Hoors',it takes place over the course of one evening.A woman's fiance has died,on his stag weekend,and her,her sister and two of the deceased friends gather the night before the funeral,originally intended to be the wedding day,to prepare themselves for the next day.So here's my thoughts on it...

Pretty bad.

Black Watch was fantastic,the characters were great,the dialogue witty and emotional.The whole thing was just fantastic.This couldn't be more different.

Firstly,you feel absoloutely no sympathy for any of the characters whatsoever.The woman who's fiance has died,it turns out is in love with one of the friends who turns up,and is relieved about her fiance's death because she didn't want to marry him.The aforementioned friend is alright until he decides to let the main woman's sister "suck his cock,right now",proving that he isn't actually all that decent.He's weak aswell,doesn't stand up for himself and doesn't chase what he wants,something that I find annoying.The other friend is an utter sleaze.He was a good actor though,the sexual chemistry between him and the female actresses was great,he just kind of oozed it in his sleazy character.Not an attractive man,but he did provide good onstage chemistry.The final character of the sister was just plain irritating.Materialistic and arrogant,also a bit of a slut,I found her to be highly annoying.So all in all,as you could sympathise with none of these characters,I found the play to become completely irrelevent to me as I didn't honestly care what happened to any of them.

Secondly,whilst there were flashes of the witty dialogue that you can see if you look at Black Watch,overall the conversation felt very bland.The action didn't make up for it and the fact that the actors continously masked each other on the stage,blocking half of the audience's sight lines at a time,didn't help.

Thirdly,and this may not be the fault of Burke as I don't know to what extent he was involved in the putting together of the actual production,the staging was horrendous.The set rotated,which could have been a symbolic and useful tool.Instead,it just occurred at random points in the story,no relevance what so ever. I really felt it just slowed the pace of the already slow action down even more. The set was almost always on diagonals,which contributed to the problem of masking mentioned above.

Basically I just found this a big let down after Black Watch.[erhaps that's just because of my own high expectations,and if I go back and read it with those expectations set aside perhaps I will enjoy it more.Sadly, I somehow doubt it.

Until Next Time

Hey all.Well this has been a bit of a stressful week,so to escape to the cinema tonight was a much welcomed time to relax on my part.The film of choice was 'Tormented.Here's how it went...

Well it's a little bit different,and then all cliched at the same time.Different in terms of British horror I suppose.It's got a little more wit to it,being very darkly humourous all the way throuh.The deaths are also,if this can come across as a sane comment,quite creative.No limits,they're pretty gross,but far fetched so not particularly scary.However,there are the typical horror cliches scattered throughout - locker room/shower scene all alone,followed by somone mucking around with your belongings,followed by death.sex in car,followed by death.nasty son-of-a-bitch bullys,met with death.So yeah,you might say it's stereotypical in some respects.But,I did like it.

I can't work out if it is mocking the typical horror film,by being ridiculously far fetched and gross and playing the stereotypes to the max - you've got every single typical horror film character and situation - or if it's trying to be genuine and funny at the same time.The thing that throws me off is the whole set up with the girl being carted off at the start/end.Why does the camera stay with her in the car at the end and watch her in her emotional state?If it's just trying to be mindless and humorous horror,there's no need for this.If it's trying to communicate some story [other than the shove it right in your face all the way through obvious statement about don't bully,it's bad] then it fails I'd say.You can't really take it seriously,due to the dislike you hold for pretty much all of the characters.Sure a couple of them are funny,but when it comes down to it,every single one of them is a brat,so you don't feel too badly when they get taken down a few by the killer.

Anyway,it's enjoyable.If you like things in the line of Shaun of the Dead,you'll find it amusing.If you're a hardcore horror fan looking to be scared,then this isn't going to do the trick.I'd say go see it though,it is honestly good fun.

This review was awful.I apologise,there's just not really THAT much to say about it.

Until Next Time