Me,My Life & I

March.What to say about March?Well,folio's finally sent away. Drama performance over.Admin project done.Biology post-prelim over.French post-prelim over.Media NAB done,unfortunately done wrong though so that will have to be re-sat when I go back.So then,comes Easter,and with Easter comes good times.Holidays - also good.Although,I'm sitting bang in the middle of my easter holidays now facing the prospect of having to actually do stuff next week,stuff that takes the form of homework and revision.Ah well. Alopecia driving me mad,but I think I've previously made that clead so lets not go there.Got a hair piece earlier this week, which turned rather quickly from a blessing to a curse.Was great at first,giving me nice thick looking hair again.However,when I went to take it off,the tape had moved and was firmly stuck all over my real hair.Disaster,which ended in me having to cut off bits of my own hair.Needless to say I'm pissed.

Films

Didn't make it to the cinema this month - again!Shock horror!

Did buy a few this month though.

Blow This I bought purely because it stars Johnny Depp.Shallow I know,but the man can act!I was pleasantly surprised by it.I'm not into crime or drug stories generally but in this one I found a rather touching story.Really quite good.

Pulp Fiction I know,I know!The fact that I've not added this to my collection until now does say a lot,but I've just never got round to it.Anyway,it being a Tarantino creation,I wasn't going to be disapointed by it was I?Thoroughly enjoyed it.

Ghost World Not watched it yet.Artsy comedy as far as I can see.

Serenity & Firefly I bought this follow-up film and it's tv series parent for twenty pounds in the HMV sale,making me a very happy bunny.If you know me at all,you'll know,I'm a huge Buffy and Angel fan and I love their creator, Joss Whedon.He really raised the bar for the standard of TV shows I think.Anyway,I thought it was about time I bought Whedon's third tv series.Very,very strange.Kind of a western,pirate-ship,sci-fi thing set in space.Very good though.Writing and direction as excellent as I would expect of Whedon material.Wasn't disapointed with these two purchases.

Quotability

Leonard From The Big Bang Theory:Yeah you saw what you saw!And that's how we roll in the Shire!

Any line from the song 'Changes' by 3 Doors Down.

Megan:Well I presume we're going to fall asleep up here?
Jamie:Yeah
Megan:Ok so you put your feet there and I'll put my feet here and my apologies if I kick you in the face

And Cruel Intentions is still right up there.

TV
Lost As fantastic as ever.
Return of Desperate Housewives - looks set to be a great season.
Big Bang Theory - just keeps getting funnier.
My Name Is Earl - New season. Funny stuff.
Friday Night Project - JLC and his T-Shirts are still great,the humour,not so humourous any more.

So,I enter April right bang in the middle of my Easter holidays facing the prospect of fighting a mountain of school-work next week.But,as said above,Ah Well.

Until Next Month

I'm not suposed to be scared of anything, but I don't know where I am
I wish that I could move but I'm exhausted and nobody understands how i feel
I'm trying hard to breathe now but there's no air in my lungs
There's no one here to talk to and the pain inside is making me numb

But I'm going through changes, changes
God, I feel so frustrated lately
And I get suffocated, I hate this
But I'm going through changes, changes

lyrics from 'Changes' by 3 Doors Down.
Pretty acurate really,for me anyway.

It's easier to run
replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
than face this pain here all alone.

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Ok so I'm getting majorly pisssed off with this alopecia and all of the effects it's having on me.I'm not looking for pity here,just somewhere to vent my frustration.I can no longer do anything with my hair other than wear it in an ugly,low pony at the bottom of my neck which means I can barely move without the whole thing parting.This means I'm having to focus an awful lot on not moving my head which is really hurting my neck.Every time I go to dry my hair the stupid hair dryer burns at my neck so I end up just leaving it to dry naturally,which leads to a big bush that I can't straighten because they also hurt my head.I loathe having to wash my hair and then the next morning having to cover my head with brown spray to hide the fact that my hair is rapidly falling out.I feel pretty much at a loss for people to talk to aswell.It seems as though everybody just forgets all of the time,and that doesn't seem fair to me.I don't want it to be in the forefront of everybody's minds' of course,but it annoys me so much that they can just forget so easily whereas it has to be in my mind constantly.I have to think about it before I do anything and it's pissing me off.I have to go to sleep each night worrying if the next morning I'm going to wake up with yet more hair's spread across my pillow.I have to worry all day every time it's raining or the slightest breeze is in the air.It hurts so much and it seems as though people forget.It feels as though nobody understands how hard this is,nobody thinks that sometimes I might just be feeling like utter crap,they just all expect me to be happy all the time,or grateful that I've not got something worse to deal with.It feels as though everyone just says what they feel have to say,gives me the sympathetic looks,the comforting hugs.But nobody actually sits down to talk to me about it,they just presume I'll get by.This is too hard and I don't know what to do about it.

Anybody that's going through this or has gone through it please get in touch,I need someone to talk to.I promise I'm not this depressing all the time,I just needed to have a bit of a rant :]

--

Just washing it aside
All of the helplessness inside
Pretending I don't feel misplaced

Ok so it's pretty late, but my internet's been playing up so it's been hard to get on and type this up properly.

Not that much more eventful than January really.Main highlight being that Lost has started again,which does tend to make me an over all happy bunny
School's been totally stressful - folio work,presentations,more folio work,production and yet more folio work.
Alopeica causing me mega problems at the moment and I am becoming really pissed off with it.Just wish it would go away.
Also,got my course choice form for fifth year at school and it turns out I'm not going to be able to take all the subjects I want to...bummer.

Films

As far as I remember,I seen only one this month in the cinema - though a memorable trip it was. Cloverfield most certainly was not a let down after the half-an-hour fiasco we had trying to get in [see my Cloverfield review for more on that and the film]. A completely fantastic film and I now eagerly await its dvd release.

Lost

It's getting a whole section to itself just because I've been waiting on it for months.

Ok so season three left us with many questions to ponder over the months until season four's return.This season has been great so far,my favourite episode so far being Kate's flash-forward ep,'Eggtown'. [She has Aaron!?How!?Why!?] Her relationship with Sawyer is reminding me of Season six of Buffy and Spike and Buffy's rather destructive relationship.How can she be using him so!?And she only slapped him because he was telling her the truth no? John's turning into a right dictator which is annoying me.I am starting to like Juliet though,which is wierd for me as I've not liked her since we first met her,the only time I've ever felt anything towards her was when she seen her sister and niece on a tv screen and broke down.Aside from then,I've disliked her.'The Constant' was certainly interesting wasn't it?Great episode,bringing up a whole new set of interesting thoughts and questions.Just finished watching 'The Other Woman' [episode six] which was a bit of a let down in my eyes.Bit of an interesting insight into Juliet's past but aside from that,nothing interesting.

Yeah,so,overall,Lost Season Four is amazing!Each episode is revealing big things but also bringing up interesting questions.I have one wee criticism though:the fact that nearly every episode is ending on a cliff-hanger.Don't get me wrong,I'm all for a jaw-dropping ending,but these episodes are good enough to stand alone without big reveals all the time to keep people watching.

Anyway,moving on.

Quotability

Nothing pops to mind but I have been watching an insanely large amount of Joss Whedon's creations lately so head over to my Speechifying - Epic Writing post for some of my fave Angel stuff this month.

And no conversations with my friend's pop to mind so I think I'll leave it at that.

Catch
xxx

If you've been keeping track of my posts on here, you'll probably already know that I am a huge,ok,massive fan of Joss Whedon and his work, mainly though, his two most famous TV Series Buffy The Vampire Slayer and Angel. I love these shows not only because they are consistently exciting and interesting, but also because when you look behind the demons,vampires and other nasty things,it's a whole bunch of metaphors for people trying to find their way through life and encountering different problems along the way.

So anyway, I've been ill the past couple of days and so have been stuck in my bed. I decided to re-watch season five of Angel and noticed, as I do each time I watch an episode of either of the shows, the truly epic writing. I picked up on a few of my favourite speeches and decided I might aswell share with you all what I believe they mean in terms of our society.

Episode:Time Bomb Written By:Ben Edlund

Ok so this speech comes from none other than a slightly smurfish Amy Acker. Here she is portraying the 'goddess' Illyria,and talking to Angel about power.

Illyria That you learn when you become a king - you learn to destory everything that is not utterly yours. All that matters is victory. That is how your reign persists. You are a slave to an insane construct,you are moral. A true ruler is as moral as a hurricane, empty but for the force of his gale. But you, trapped in the web of the Wolf,the Ram,the Hart (AKA Evil Inc. in the Angel universe) So much power here, yet you quibble at its price.If you want to win a war,you must serve no master but your ambition.

Powerful stuff from Bed Edlund.Pretty much summing up that power does indeed corrupt,but saying, that that corruption is neccesary to be a true ruler. I don't presonally believe that,but I do believe that if someone is given absoloute power,then it will corrupt.

Episode: Underneath Written By: Elizabeth Craft and Sarah Fain.

Lindsey talking to Angel about the apocalypse.

Lindsey:You know what I know.Look around, the world's a cesspool filled with selfish and greedy beasts. We live.We die. [Bit of an exchange with the character of Eve in here]
Angel:Yeah, "Hell's On Earth". Holland Manners [Head of Evil Inc. at one point] tried to sell me that line three years ago.
Lindseyid you ever prove him wrong?
Angel:It's all how you look at the glass.You know Lindsey,we can philosophize all night.Hell,we can do it forever.I don't need to eat,sleep,drink.How about you?
Lindsey:That's what I like to see.Angel of yore.Takes no prisoners,suffers no fools.Well how about this?It's here.It's been here all along,underneath.You're just too damned stupid to see it.
Angel:See what?
Lindsey:The apocalypse,man.You're soaking in it.
Spike:I've seen an apocalypse or two in my time,I'd know if one was under my nose.
Lindsey:Not 'an' apocalypse,'The' apocalypse.What did you think a gong was gonna sound?Time to jump on your horses and fight the big fight?Starting pistol went off a long time ago boys.And you're playing for the bad guys.Every day you sit behind your desk and you learn a little more how to accept the world the way it is.Well here's the rub:Heroes don't do that.Heroes don't accept the world the way it is,they fight it.
Angel:You're saying everything we do,it's a distraction,to keep us from looking under the surface?
Lindseying,we got a winner.World keeps sliding towards entropy and degradation and what do you do?You sit in your big chair,and you sign your checks.Just like the senior partners intended.The war's here Angel.

Ok so first off,the senior partners mentioned there,they represent pure evil in the Angel universe.
I think,as depressing as you may find that rather epic speech,it does ring true.Particularly from a Christian perspective.[I know a lot of people will want to argue with me on that one so feel free.] Basically to me it says that the world is moving towards it end and we're doing nothing to stop or prepare for it.Yes that does seem a bit dramatic,but it's true no?Ever since the world began,it's been counting down towards its ending.This speech also says that not only are we not preparing for it,we're both aiding it and fighting on the side of bad.It accuses us of adapting to the world the way it is and learning to accept the evils in it.I think that's a challenge that we,especially those of us who call ourseleves Christians,should take on board.We should try and fight the evil down,not adjust ourselves to it. Excuse me if this is getting anyone down,I just think it's the truth really.This speech reminds me of a nother line of Illyria's from the episode the first speech was from:

Change is constant,yet things remain the same mean things do change,every day they change.Yet the bad things still remain,they're still always the same and I think that that is something we should be doing something about,not just adapting to.

Ok so moving on.This next speech is actually from season four,from the first episode of season four,when Angel has just been dragged up from the bottom of the sea after being thrown down there the previous season by his deranged son.

Episodeeep Down Written By:Steven S. DeKnight

Please note,Connor is Angel's son,the one I mentioned above.

Angel:What I deserve is open to debate.But understand,there is a difference between wishing vegence on someone and taking it.So now the question becomes, what do you deserve?
Connor gets up and tries to run out the door.Angel stops him and throws him against the wall.
Angeladdy's not finished talking.[Some stuff about Cordelia,the woman Angel is in love with,who disapeared the same night as Angel did when he was sunk to the bottom of the ocean.Angel asks Connor if he done anything to Cordelia.He says no,Angel's gang accuses him of lying.]
Connor:I'm telling the truth ok?
Angel:I know.I can tell.I've done enough lying for me to know the difference.The truth has a better sound to it,less nasal you know?Get up.What you did to me was unbelievable Connor.But hey,I got stuck in a hell dimension by my girlfriend one time for a hundred years,so a few months under the ocean acutually gave me some perspective. Kind of an MC Escher perspective. But I did get time to think.About us,about the world. [and this is the bit I love] Nothing in the world is as it ought to be.It's harsh and it's cruel. But that's why there's us. Champions. Doesn't matter where we come from,what we've done or suffered,or even if we make a difference.We live as though the world were as it should be,to show it what it can be.You're not a part of that yet,I hope you will be.I love you Connor.Now get out of my house.

I love that whole scene but my favourite line is 'We live as though the world were as it should be,to show it what it can be.' I think it is important that we do do this,live as though the world were as it should be.But also,as I mentioned before,we should fight what shouldn't be there,so that we can maybe have the world the way it should actually be.

ok so sorry if I come across totally wierdly obessessed with this show,I just wanted to give you all a few examples of the epic writing on it and how shows about fantasy things can ring totally true for our society,much more so I believe,than shows that try to be believable and realistic. :]
Catch
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