It's easier to run
replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
than face this pain here all alone.
Something has been taken from deep inside of me
The secret I've kept locked away,no-one can ever see
Wounds so deep they never show,they never go away
Like moving pictures in my head....
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Ok so I'm getting majorly pisssed off with this alopecia and all of the effects it's having on me.I'm not looking for pity here,just somewhere to vent my frustration.I can no longer do anything with my hair other than wear it in an ugly,low pony at the bottom of my neck which means I can barely move without the whole thing parting.This means I'm having to focus an awful lot on not moving my head which is really hurting my neck.Every time I go to dry my hair the stupid hair dryer burns at my neck so I end up just leaving it to dry naturally,which leads to a big bush that I can't straighten because they also hurt my head.I loathe having to wash my hair and then the next morning having to cover my head with brown spray to hide the fact that my hair is rapidly falling out.I feel pretty much at a loss for people to talk to aswell.It seems as though everybody just forgets all of the time,and that doesn't seem fair to me.I don't want it to be in the forefront of everybody's minds' of course,but it annoys me so much that they can just forget so easily whereas it has to be in my mind constantly.I have to think about it before I do anything and it's pissing me off.I have to go to sleep each night worrying if the next morning I'm going to wake up with yet more hair's spread across my pillow.I have to worry all day every time it's raining or the slightest breeze is in the air.It hurts so much and it seems as though people forget.It feels as though nobody understands how hard this is,nobody thinks that sometimes I might just be feeling like utter crap,they just all expect me to be happy all the time,or grateful that I've not got something worse to deal with.It feels as though everyone just says what they feel have to say,gives me the sympathetic looks,the comforting hugs.But nobody actually sits down to talk to me about it,they just presume I'll get by.This is too hard and I don't know what to do about it.
Anybody that's going through this or has gone through it please get in touch,I need someone to talk to.I promise I'm not this depressing all the time,I just needed to have a bit of a rant :]
--
Just washing it aside
All of the helplessness inside
Pretending I don't feel misplaced
