I can smile so easily. I don't have a problem with smiling.

I'm not worried about that.

No, I'm worried about the way in which I smile. This false glimmer of teeth and charm.I want to smile and have it mean something.
Smile and have it not cover up real feelings of hurt.

It really is true:

Smile, it confuses people

Ok not so much confuses,as blinds people.

To the fact that you're in pain.

But I do it none the less, then beat myself up about the fact that I'm lying.I'm lying to those I love the most.Each morning I wake up,get dressed,do my makeup and apply my smile,conscious that the day will no doubt be another filled with masking laughs and false cheer,protecting my friends from the ugly truth that is my innermost feelings.

But what can I do?
I'm hurting yes
I want them to hurt no
So I hide from them the facts.
And continue my smiling.
Until I give it no second thought.


And it's this numbness inside that fuels it.