I want to type.
I don't know what,I'll just see what comes out.
So...
My life at the moment is pretty average.
School's going ok,well then again,I've not actually been in school except for exam days for near on a month now so that comment probably wouldn't otherwise be true.
Getting on pretty well with my mum.Thought things were going just as well with my dad but then that kinda fell apart a bit today.Maybe he just had a bad day,but he snapped at me.And I got a fright.And it pissed me off.Not him snapping,me getting the fright.Strange that.
Me and my brother still argue as much as usual.Need to resolve that little problem as I think I may be emotionally damaging him,over dramatic as that may sound.
I bought dvds again this week Hadn't bought any since the easter holidays and was suffering from serious withdrawal symptoms.Honestly,I was like a junkie looking for a fix.
Talking of junkies,it was the anniversary of auntie's,well i say auntie,not that she was ever anything even closely resembling that to me,more just the stupid bint that got her teeth into my uncle,anyway,it was the anniversary of her death this week.Strangely enough,my uncle's engagement to his new girlfriend fell apart this week too.Not good.I really liked her.She's Irish.
So really,life on the homefront could overall be a bit better.
Friends on the other hand,are fantastic.
Spending more time with one group of them over exam leave has been great.I find that just being in their company lifts my mood on days when I'm feeling rubbish.
I'm missing the company of my other group of friends though.Now I only see them once a week instead of twice and I dunno,I know it's not that big of a difference,but it's just really getting to me.I think it's because with them I can talk about my faith and stuff,and I'm feeling kinda weird about my faith presently,I've no idea what God's actually telling me a the moment.I know I could talk to them about it at any time,but it just feels like it would be easier to do it if we were still meeting for our regular once a week thing.I'm pretty sad that we're not gonna be doing that for a while now.At the time when we decided to not meet up over the summer it felt like a good idea because last year we met over the summer I think and we got kinda messed up as a group as a result of spending too much time together I think.So yeah,friends are great on one hand,but I'm missing some on the other,even if I am talking to them all the time on msn.
This might come out really big headed but bear with me.I really can't wait for my life to 'begin' so to speak because I really feel like I'm gonna make something of myself,and I'm looking forward to that.That might sound stupid,and as if I'm just setting myself up for disapointment.But I am really determined to make it in what I want to do.I don't mean get into making huge blockbuster films,just making any kind of movie or tv show will fulfill my biggest dream and I can see me doing it.Everything about that industry appeals to me.Also,I heard someone famous talking once,can't remember who it was,and they said that they always felt they were going to make it.They said that sounded arrogant but they'd just never felt any other way and that had given them the determination to chase their dreams.So yeah,mines are becoming bigger and bigger.I am intent on making films and LA seems to be calling me.All my friends are always talking about their dreams and it feels to me as though that gives me
liscense to dream even bigger,that makes no sense,but to me it does.
Although I have great friends and family around me,I feel lonely.Maybe I want a boyfriend?It feels as though all the guys just see my as their friend,never could be anything more.Not that any of them at school really appeal to me so I'm kinda glad it's that way.I really need to start making friends outside school and that.Widen my options so to speak.Unders is always an option but there they're always taken,arseholes or gay so that poses a bit of a problem.Not to mention they're always just looking for the one's wandering around in their bras,throwing themselves all over the place.See me doing that just to grab a bit of male attention,I hardly think so.I'll stay single if thats what it takes thanks.
Hmm,what to say.
When I start stuggling for words,thats a time to stop I think.
Catch
xx